.. don't get all worked up, now, it's not the biggest thrill I could think of for anybody, especially you." But," I said earnestly, "it's what you do."She stared at me, taken aback.I went on enthusiastically, "It's your... it's your world, like mine is in the movies and the plays. And yours is college and learning to be a teacher. Of course I want to see it."She cleared her throat, propping her elbows on the table and folding her hands. "Speedy, do you know how many boys your age and older--much older--just want to spend an afternoon with me so they can get inside my pants?" Get inside your pants? Hm, that's a funny expression, I never heard that one before. You mean... to fuck?" I mean that's all they want to do." Don't they ever do anything else?" A lot of them, Speedy, no. Do you know what a tragedy it is in my life just to have a very unpleasant argument with some boy because I have work to do and I don't have time, just no time right away, right then, right now, to go out with. Faith sighed. “I know! You’re right! And I love him and all that. But he’s sooo annoying.”We ended up in the kitchen sitting around the kitchen table. The kitchen is as bright and roomy as the rest of the house. The counters are all polished marble and the table top is solid redwood. Faith and Danielle opened the fridge and started transferring plate after plate piled with Thanksgiving leftovers onto the table. The five of us managed to eat only a small fraction of the food that was there.The conversation meandered through a variety of unrelated topics – some serious, others not so serious. I wasn’t completely silent. I spoke a few times – answering questions and so on. But mostly I was happy to sit there and listen to them talk and to laugh along with their jokes. I felt relaxed and calm. For the first time in ages, I wasn’t shut down or upset or angry. I was happy. I was with Dan whom I love more than anything and Pearl whom I love nearly as much. I was with Faith and Danielle who.
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